beach backpacking

Olympic Peninsula.  July 2-4.  With Brenda and Katie V.   Memory highlights of the trip include B's backward's trucker hat (see picture below), our collective inability to remember more than two lines of any given song we attempted to chorus during our walks, my goofy leg sunburn from beach meditation, stripping down to basics and jumping in the ocean, purple starfish, road trip rap music... the nostalgia is fresh.  The trip was a welcome reprieve from action and agenda; we meandered along the beach and cliff trails to our campsite the first day.  Near Strawberry Point.  We camped on the beach, and set fire to driftwood at night to warm ourselves and cook Field Roast dogs.  Our second day was spent exploring the beach and rocks during low tide, practicing yoga in the sand, relaxing, and watching the beautiful sunset.   We left camp relatively early in the morning on Monday the 4th, so as to avoid heavy ferry traffic and return to Seattle early-ish.  Brenda is a professional photographer.  She took some amazing shots during the weekend that might show up on www.bergreenphotography.com .

Being on the coast was a dramatic change from the prior weekend's mountain adventure on Shuksan.  Snow to sand.  Layers to bare skin.  I feel more like myself when I'm in the backcountry camping.  During this particular trip, I noticed that I had no mirror to look into.  Without a reflection, I felt more in touch with my insides.  There is so much emphasis on the external world in my life; what I look like being only one facet.  External identities consume much time and energy; my profession, my attire, personal relationships, speech, living environment, financial means, and on...   When I go hiking and camping for a night or more, I remember the peace in simplicity and space.  And how little space I give myself in my usual life.
I also noticed how much I enjoy being immersed in nature, even when not pursuing a high-intensity goal.  Typically, my adventures have an outcome attached; reach a summit, hit a certain mileage per day, complete a trail, reach a target destination.  While my inherent nature moves me towards 'get it', I now know that a slow pace fulfills me.  Balances.  I wanted quiet and stillness going into this weekend.  Felt that desire inside, though wasn't able to put it into words until I felt the experience.

Mt. Shuksan

June 25/26.  Training climb for Rainier.  Overnight snow camping, and ice climbing.  Group of nine.  Eddie led the trip, with Andrew and Cal leading two other rope teams.  Eddie and Kirsten were on my rope team.  Leigh, Flora, and Andrew on the third.  Cal, Deb, and Wei on number two.  We hiked to high base camp on Saturday, approximately 8,200 feet.  The summit is just under 9,000 feet.  We hiked mostly in white-out conditions the first day; couldn't see our surroundings beyond our immediate steps.  We woke up to clear skies on Sunday, with a spectacular panoramic view of the North Cascades National Park.   My rope team made it to about 300 feet below the summit before Eddie made the decision to turn back because snow was melting at  rapid rate.  Wet snow = dangerous down climb.  Given that myself and Kirsten were inexperienced mountaineers and ice climbers, I was supportive of his decision.  I felt grateful to have been given the opportunity to be on the mountain and learn new skills.

Familiar difficulties and irritations with group dynamics entered my mind throughout the trip.  I opted to settle on the thought "I wouldn't be here without these people.  I can't do this alone."  Shifting my focus from frustrating at how long it took people to get ready on summit morning, to appreciation for where I was helped me stay joyful and light.  There were a few humbling moments during the summit climb, notably when my ill-fitting crampon came off my boot a couple hundred feet up the climb.  I freaked out and a rush of critical, panicked thoughts flew thru my mind "what am I going to do? I can't get this back on.  All these people are waiting for me, I can't believe I didn't put it on right.  I'm screwed.  I can't believe you did this."  Kirsten noticed my panic and called to me "Dre, how are you doing?  Its okay, you're going to be fine!"  I paused; the pause felt like an eternity, likely it was 10 seconds.  I dug my ice axe into the ice/snow in front of me, and used it as leverage to balance on the spikes on my still-attached left boot/crampon combo.  I used one hand to slip the device back onto my foot.  Success.  The entire team did have to wait for me.  I held them up.  And it was fine.  I felt rattled for the next hour of climbing, and eventually was able to settle back into a routine.  Kirsten's support made a huge difference in my ability to solve the problem under stressful circumstances.  She was there to support me, and I want to support my team, too.   When they are slow, and I'm fast, and when I'm slow, and they are fast.  The point is that we all want to get up and down the mountain safely.  In our way, how we know how to do, and how we can.

snow skills clinic

SUNDAY JUNE 12
Early morning - 5:30 start at trailhead; did a half hike of Mt. Si and some yoga before heading to Alpental in Snoqualimie Pass for a day of glacier travel instruction with the 3 Summits team leads.

Snow skills clinic.  At Alpental, Snoqualmie Pass.  Five hours of basic glacier travel instruction on self-arrest, tying effective knots, group rope travel, and z pulley crevasse rescue.  Self-arrest practice was fun. We practiced stopping ourselves from a couple positions: feet first, face first (lying on belly and back).  I appreciated both the solitude and community experience of being part of a rope team.  We were spaced far enough apart that I had personal space to be with my internal experience, and simultaneously felt connected to my team.  Glacier travel requires mindfulness, concentration, and attention to detail, among the myriad of technical skills required for safe and successful trips.  I had a conversation with my friend Brenda on Saturday about this very subject; she called them ‘soft skills’ and ‘hard skills.’  Brenda has a lot of experience with both climbing and teaching people how to climb.  She commented that it is harder to both learn and teach the ‘soft skills’, that mindfulness, trusting intuition, having patience for varying speeds and abilities of team members.  I was surprised today that I was patient with myself (most importantly) and my group.   I’ve had concerns over the past couple of weeks that I would be unhappy with the group dynamic because other people wouldn’t pull their weight, or would somehow ‘slow me down.’  I cultivated some humility today, and, instead, felt grateful to be part of the 2011 3 Summits group.  I certainly can’t climb Mt. Rainier alone with my current (lack of) skills.  Really, when I examine my irritation, the source is my inner doubt and fear - wanting to 'go hard' because somehow that would mean something about my worth as a person.  Also, being with a group mirrors more precisely what my skill level and fitness actually is - there will be some slower, some faster.  Quicker learners, slower learners.  More technical skill, less technical skill. When I'm alone, I don't have that reflection to see what is going on inside of me; how I feel about myself and how I roll with the waves in my mind.  I also felt very grateful for the volunteer leaders; Eddie, Brett, Cal, Andrew.  They volunteered their time and expertise to the novice team because they love mountaineering and want to share their experience with us.  Inspired me to be more giving and free with my knowledge and skills, even those soft skills.  I can certainly be more patient, more flexible, more compassionate, more truthful.  All in all, a fabulous day in the mountains.

just me

Mailbox Peak.  June 4.  Sunny, clear day.  Sharpest view I've seen from the Cascades.  From the summit, I could see the Space Needle.  Mount Rainier was in full glory.  Mountains humble me.  "Our choice is the song of realization.  And today's realization is tomorrow's manifestation.  Again, tomorrow's manifestation is only the beginning of a forward and upward and inward journey.  Today, on the strength of our inner choice, we move forward, upward, and inward to reach our chosen destination.  But today's destination will only be our starting point for our father, higher, and more fulfilling goal of tomorrow.  There is no fixed goal for we are all evolving.  In the process of evolution we are running, flying, and diving towards an ever transcending, deepening, and widening goal.  To run farther, fly higher, and dive deeper is the only choice that each individual should consciously, devotedly, unmistakably, and unconditionally make."  Sri Chinmoy (1931-2007)

Swakane Canyon

Birthday hike with Jenee.  Swakane Canyon is located along the Columbia River, near Wenatchee, WA.  From the trailhead onward, gorgeous view of rolling mossy green hills and clear blue water.   I kept thinking and saying out loud "this is so beautiful.  Incredible.  We are so lucky."  Last night in Advanced Exploration at The Samarya Center, Molly initiated discussion about the idea of connection, and how small actions we all make could either contribute to or mitigate connection with others.  The rich conversation led my mind to wander to ways I enhance and stunt connection and growth for my spiritual life.   Today, spending hours in nature amongst wild flowers and chirping crickets generated immense love and stillness inside of me.  And, there is a converse. I have spent many a mountain climbs feeling irritable and totally disconnected from whatever grandeur created the ground I treaded.  The difference?  Intention, perhaps.  I chose to spend my 27th birthday with a cherished friend on a new trail because I wanted to explore an area of Washington new to me, and be outside of the city.  Other times, I have sought solace in the mountains to escape my chaotic and unpredictable mind.  It seems that when I am using nature as an escape, rather than an experience, my time is less enjoyable.  I'm still trying to 'get somewhere', rather than 'be somewhere.'   Most ideas lead me back to examining my spiritual life, which is the basis for all of my other relationships.  If I don't feel connected to the self of me that is outside of my mind, I have a very hard time maintaing balance and equanimity in my interactions with other people.

sunburn-free

Second trip of the year up to Camp Muir.  Overcast, snowy day.  At base camp, the clouds shifted and we got a fleeting partial view of Rainier.   Despite consistent cloud coverage, it was very bright on the mountain.  We were treated to gentle snowflakes most of the way up; at about the halfway point during our descent the snow started falling much heavier and visibility was significantly reduced.  Round trip 7 hours, including a couple of 20-30 minute breaks.
Saturday, May 28.  Me. Jenee. Nathan. Kirsten. Deb.
















One of the other groups hiking to Muir hauled up a keg of beer on a red sled.

We were able to glissade part of the way down from Panorama Point.  Such a treat after the long hike.  Lately, I've been thinking that my fitness has more to do with my yoga practice than my 'training' regimen.  I was out of town for two weeks this month for a yoga teacher training.  This last trip up to Muir was the first training hike I have done in three weeks.  I feel the best I ever have.

Mt. Rainier base camp Muir

Saturday, April 30.

Brett, Tom, Leigh, me, Flora, Wei, and co-worker of Flora and Wei.  Left Seattle at 5:50 AM.  Started for the base camp at approximately 9 AM from Paradise, elevation 5,400 feet.  Leigh and I arrived to camp Muir, elevation 10,188 feet, at 1:55 PM.  Long, difficult trek up the mountain.   Fresh powder made it necessary to kick steps in as we hiked up.  The soft snow also caused post holing (sinking a full legs-length into the snow), particularly during the last 300 feet.   Leigh and I arrived first, with Wei and Flora 20 minutes behind.  Brett and Tom stayed back with our other party member who wasn’t able to continue climbing past 8,500 feet.   The entire group hiked down the mountain together, returning to Paradise at 4:55 PM.   The weather was a bizarre mountain mix – clouds at the bottom when we started, blue skies and hot sunshine once we broke through the cloud line up to Muir.  On the way down our visibility decreased drastically; it was snowing at the cloud line and near white-out conditions past Panorama Point, the mid-point between Paradise and Muir.

heading up; rest stop at Panorama Point

me and the mountain

Leigh with the clouds

climbing in the clouds

looks close, yet so far away

sunbathing at Muir

view of Mt. Adams in the clouds

blizzard near the bottom

whiteout