Sabine, Anna, Nathan, Kristen, Mark. Me. Saturday, March 26, 2011.
Mt. Baker recreation area. Artist Point lends a panoramic view of Mt. Shuksan and Mt. Baker. Shuksan is the mountain featured in the second and last pictures. Baker in the third picture. Moderately cloudy day granted partial views of the mountains. Was clear until near the end of our descent to the parking lot - started snowing and very quickly the clouds lowered and turned gray. Beautiful, fun trip with great company.
Baker is one of the potential 'training' peaks for Rainier - the Artist Point trip re-ignited my excitement for the Rainier climb. I love being in the mountains. I feel soul-connected when I stand on top of a peak I labored to, and peer at the expanse below me - reminds me of how small I am. And how fast this life will pass.
Today I had the thought "there isn't infinite time for me to prepare for Rainier." Every training session, every workout, every mundane daily activity I do despite inner protests, are significant. Reminds me of a lot of the spiritual wisdom I hear so often in yoga classes and reading self-helpy kind of books - "be in the now" "be present" "this moment is all we have." One of my spin instructors, Aina, regularly tells us "this is it" and "suck it up." The "suck it up" part makes me laugh sometimes because it initially seems so different from the gentler approach I hear most often from the instructors at The Samarya Center. They say "do what works for your body" and "rest if you need to." Aina says "if you are breathing, you are fine" "give me more" and "you came here to work." Though the delivery sounds different, is the message? Both presentations inspire me to dig into facets of my being - "suck it up" ignites my perseverance, while "listen to your body as it is today" invites attentiveness. Depending on the day, I may fancy being pushed, or may rebel against the blunt and cold feeling delivery of "suck it up." "But what if I'm tired? Or injured? I don't want to 'suck it up', you 'suck it up.' " There are the days that "do what works for you" feels incredibly boring and patronizing. Inevitably, I walk into the studio some days with a mind full of sadness and "listen to your body" is the nurturing touch in my day that starts the tears flowing. Tonight I found the loving, genuine, caring vibe Molly naturally exudes to be exactly what I needed to push through mental dullness to the raw emotion held captive on the other side - waiting for me to acknowledge and caress. Talk sweetly to. Encourage forward. I don't know what its going to be like to be on Mt. Rainier for three days. I anticipate it will be difficult, and there will be times, maybe multiple times, I will curse my decision to join the climb. What will carry me through will be the messages I repeat in my mind - I imagine I will hear a little of "suck it up" and a little of "do what you can", and a lot of gratitude "isn't this amazing, where I am right now?"
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